Real Love & Hard Truth: Part 2
This is part 2 of a 3-part series responding to the recent statement from the Vatican concerning LGBT marriage in the Church. Part one can be found here
The Interview
Recently, I watched an interview with America's most controversial priest, Fr. James Martin. He was being interviewed on the Our War Path Podcast. The interview included Fr Martin and three others from this traditional Catholic leaning podcast team. I expected Fr. Martin to get drilled with tough questions, finally being put on the spot to answer some of his objectionable teachings. Fr. Martin is known internationally for his work with the LGBT community. He's coined the term "LGBT Catholic," which I inherently dislike for the priority I think it gives to someone’s sexuality over their identity as a child of God. Needless to say, I was ready to disagree with him from the jump.
But then I didn't.
To my surprise, I thought Fr. Martin actually made some pretty strong points. He used great examples of some of the ugliness many in the LGBT community can face within the Church. I know that bias, stereotypes, discrimination, and even hate, exist within the Church. I had no doubt that these people also faced them, but his stories made it so much more … real.
On top of that, he reiterated so many of the points I often make in regards to homosexual sins. Why does it seem like some people are so obsessed with condemning them? Do certain priests really need to preach on it over and over again? They do so while simultaneously remaining silent on sins like abortion, divorce, co-habitation, contraception, and heterosexual fornication. As much as I love hard truth and tough love, I can easily see the hurt and isolation that over-emphasizing sins associated with homosexuality relative to other mortal sins would cause for people experiencing same sex attraction.
Eight years of ambiguity
In one of the conversations I've recently had with someone who was upset by this recent Vatican statement, they expressed their frustration in this way:
"For 8 years now, Pope Francis has been incredibly pastoral, loving, embracing, and accepting of this historically ostracized LGBT community. His inconsistency with now sharing this recent statement has caused great pain in the hearts of many and has driven them away from the Church.”
I readily recognize the ostracization of the LGBT community. For far too long, they were seen as lepers or untouchables, rather than beloved sons and daughters of God the Father. It takes a great deal of empathy and pateince to discuss Church teaching on homosexuality. You have to establish a relationship and lead with compassion in order to open the ears of a hurting person to the truth. But 8 years? 8 years seems like quite a long time. That's nearly a decade. It’s important to recognize the significance of that period of time.
For 8 years, Pope Francis frustrated faithful orthodox Catholics with his lack of clarity, all the while people like Fr James Martin praised him for making "progress" in building a bridge between the Church and the LGBT community. After all that time, Pope Francis finally appeases the majority of faithful Catholics by providing clarity on this issue. By doing so, he destroyed a great deal of false hope that his ambiguous statements created. It seems as though that bridge, despite 8 years of construction, crumbled mightily once it experienced the full weight of the truth.
This clarity and truth was met with outrage. What’s even more interesting, people are charging the Pope and the Vatican with things they never said or implied. People in the LGBT community are taking this statement to mean that the Vatican is saying that “God hates them” and are responding, understandably, very poorly to that. But I don’t think that any logical or fair-minded person could read the statement and draw that conclusion from it. None of us can be fully responsible for what people wrongly assume from what we share. It’s important to honor the ancient maxim that states, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it.” But the thing is - people will always misinterpret and misunderstand the Church, regardless of how the Church says it. Why? Because the Devil benefits greatly from confusion and miscommunication.
I think it is very telling that after 8 years of sharing statements like “who am I to judge” and allegedly celebrating the progress of same-sex unions in civil law (two examples of circumstances where the Pope was taken out of context or misinterpreted), the moment Pope Francis shares the truth of Church teaching he is met with hatred and enmity. If 8 years of love with little to no truth doesn’t make the truth any easier to accept, how long is needed to make it so?
I know there is no clear cut answer to that question, but I think a significant length, like 8 years, is long enough to prove the point - there will always be tension between the world and the Church. Jesus Himself said that His coming would cause division, not peace. He calls us to live by the truth and to love our neighbor, which requires that we share that truth with them. In reality, there’s a bell curve when it comes to how much kindness and compassion can actually help people accept the truth, especially when the truth is displeasing or uncomfortable to them. As Aristotle pointed out thousands of years ago, the virtue is often in the mean, not in the extremes. People who want to disregard the truth for the sake of emotions err on the extreme end of compassion that is actually enabling bad behavior. We see this all the time with the “friends” and family members of drug addicts and alcoholics. We also see it with the friends and family members of those equally addicted to other sins.
Now, let’s take a deeper look at this bell curve and why both extreme ends are unsuccessful in sharing the Gospel.
Avoid the rules-first approach
At the beginning of that curve, where there is little to no kindness, the truth is going to go unheard, because a majority of people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. This is where the phrase “an unheard Gospel is a dead Gospel” is rightfully used. When we lead with truth without establishing a relationship, hearing someone, and loving them, we tend to lose them. Any remotely formed evangelist knows this. Rules without relationship, and that’s relationship both with God and the one discipling them, breed rebellion.
I’ve long argued that we should never lead with chastity in regards to evangelization. As someone who lost my virginity at a young age and struggled mightily with sexual sin, I know that the “rules first” approach was very unsuccessful in my life. Most people need to be seen, known, and loved before they can be fully presented with the Gospel. This is why Jesus broke bread and shared life with so many people. He healed illnesses, raised the dead, cured lepers, and fed people many times before presenting them with the Good News. The reason for this is that while the Good News is great in the long run, it presents a difficult challenge for everyone who is blessed to hear it. Once people see and understand the benefits of a relationship with Christ, making the sacrifices becomes a much easier decision.
Now, let’s look at the other side of the bell curve. When it comes to loving and journeying with someone before providing the truth, I do believe that there is a point where you max out the positive effects of that. I experienced this in my own life. At some point, it had to come down to me. I had to open my heart to really hearing the Church’s challenging teachings on how sinful my lifestyle was. The convicting truth of our sinful ways will never be easy to hear and accept. It just won’t. I believe that it is an utter fairy tale to believe that it will. Undoubtedly, it’s easier to hear when we are affirmed of God’s love for us, his desire for our reconciliation, and the possibility of Heaven through salvation, but easier doesn’t mean easy.
The problem with our modern world is that we all feel entitled to this worldly “tolerance.” But Jesus wasn’t tolerant. Jesus called out and rebuked sinners from the pride of the religious pharisees to the greed of the rich to the promiscuous sexual behavior of other sinners. When I referred to the Good News, i.e. the Gospel, what did I mean?
The most simplified form of the Gospel comes from the early chapters of Mark and Matthew. It is taken from some of Jesus’ first words ever recorded in Scripture.
In Mark 1:15, Jesus says “The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”
In Matthew 4:17, the Bible says “From that time, Jesus began to preach saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.’”
In Acts 2, St. Peter instructs the people to repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus for the forgiveness of sins, promising that if they do so they will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
The word repent is defined: to feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one’s wrongdoing or sin
Repent and be baptized.
Repent and believe.
Repent.
Do you think it’s by chance that they happen to come in that order? I don’t think anyone in the history of the world was more careful with their word selection than Jesus was. So why express it in that order?
Because you have to repent of your sins in order to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit and fully believe. Repentance is required for reconciliation. It’s required for salvation. The greatest sin of all, the only one the Holy Spirit cannot forgive, is the one for which we do not repent.
The worst doctor you can have is one who knows something deadly is wrong with your body but doesn’t make you aware of it. The worst security force you can have is one who knows of a deadly threat and yet ignores it. The worst plane mechanic you can have is one who knows something is horribly wrong and allows you to take flight any way. And the worst spiritual director, guide, or leader you can have is one who knows you are clinging to mortal sin and yet allows you to unknowingly cling to it indefinitely for the sake of protecting your emotions.
At some point, like Jesus modeled for us, we have to call sin what it is. If we believe in heaven and hell, and if we believe that Jesus came down to save us, if we believe in repentance and in the Gospel, and if we love the people we minster to, then we must boldly proclaim the truth with love. Accompanying people is important. We must journey alongside them as they fight to work out their salvation. But without truth, we are simply journeying with them to their eternal death.
About The Author
Nathan Crankfield is a convert to the Catholic faith. He is a proud graduate of Bishop McDevitt High School, Mount St. Mary's University, and US Army Ranger School.
After serving four years of active duty in the US Army, he joined the staff at Dynamic Catholic as a parish consultant. He now serves as a Residential Director at Benedictine College. He is the Founder and President of Seeking Excellence.
Find more of his writing by visiting our blog section here.