Mother of Fair Love
(and how she can help save our marriages)
February 14th - it’s probably the best day of the year.
For those of you who are single with zero V-day plans what-so-ever you're probably saying "What is this girl thinking?" ... but please hear me out.
February 14th is a day we are reminded about the most precious thing given to us so mercifully, and capable of being shared in: Love. Also special about this day is that it is not only St. Valentine's feast day, but Our Mother of Fair Love's feast day too!
While you've probably heard of St. Valentine before, you may not have heard of Our Mother of Fair Love. At least I had not just a few days prior to writing this! It was by God's grace that I stumbled upon her, after thinking about how love should be fair and not take delight in bad things, but rather in the good.
So who is Our Mother of Fair Love?
"Mother of Fair Love" is one of the many names we (Catholics) attribute to Mary. It is indicative of the love that she, being the Holy Mother of God (Who is Love), exemplified throughout her life.
There is a passage in Sirach about the mother of fair love that the Church attributes to Mary.
I am the mother of fair love, and of fear, and of knowledge, and of holy hope. In me is all grace of the way and of the truth, in me is all hope of life and of virtue. Come over to me, all ye that desire me, and be filled with my fruits. (Sirach 24: 24-26)
So as you can see from that passage, our aforementioned "mother of fair love" encompasses:
(1) Fear of the Lord (a gift of the Holy Spirit)
(2) Knowledge (another gift of the Holy Spirt)
(3) Holy hope
If you think about it, Mary exemplified these qualities perfectly. For example, in her Fiat, Mary expressed fear of the Lord by saying "Yes" to Him and "Let it be done." By keeping the things that were revealed to her in her heart, Mary expressed knowledge. Finally, by enduring each of her 7 Sorrows, Mary expressed hope.
I don't know about you, but it is a complete game changer to think of Mary as carrying within her, Wisdom Incarnate, who is Jesus. Through the examples she set, we can learn how to achieve these qualities, and love her, her Son, and those around us better.
You may be wondering how can Our Mother of Fair Love help save our marriages, especially in this time when holy marriages are under attack?
Well, Saint Pope John Paul II had something to say about this in his Apostolic Letter, Dilecti Amici, which was addressed to the youth of the world.
Even though it was delivered quite a few years back in 1985, its message is still relevant:
To set out on the path of the married vocation means to learn married love day by day, year by year: love according to soul and body, love that "is patient, is kind, that does not insist on its own way... and does not rejoice at wrong": love that "rejoices in the right", love that "endures all things"(66).
It is precisely this love that you young people need if your married future is to "pass the test" of the whole of life. And precisely this test is part of the very essence of the vocation which, through marriage, you intend to include in the plan of your life.
And so I do not cease to pray to Christ and to the Mother of Fair Love for the love that is born in young hearts. Many times in my life it has been my task to accompany in a sense more closely this love of young people. Thanks to this experience I have come to understand just how essential the matter that we are dealing with here is, how important and how great it is. I think that to a large extent the future of humanity is decided along the paths of this love, initially youthful love, which you and she, you and he discover along the paths of your youth. This can be called a great adventure, but it is also a great task.
Can you say, mind blown?! Wow! Saint Pope John Paul II literally summed up everything that had been on my heart about fair and equitable love that rejoices in truth in his letter!
After a bit of reflection on Mary, the Mother of Fair Love, I came up with a recipe for how we can apply it to our relationships:
(1) First, we can emulate her fear of the Lord by BEING CONSIDERATE of what God would think of our relationships. If He would not be pleased with what is going on in our relationships, something has got to change.
(2) Second, we can emulate her knowledge by BEING SMART about our relationships. We are not to brush aside red flags---things we know to be true but would rather overlook. Rather we need to address them. We need to "rejoice in the right" instead of rejoicing and rewarding the wrong.
(3) Third, we can emulate her holy hope by NEVER GIVING UP seeking love that would please God and lead us to Heaven. If our relationships do not do that, then quite simply--- they are not good!
I hope that whoever reads this realizes what God is calling him or her to do regarding any relationships he or she is involved in. I ask for Our Mother of Fair Love's intercession to help us love whole heartedly those that are, in fact, good for us.
Prayer:
Help us, Mother Lady of Fair Love to pursue love that allows us to serve God better together, than we ever could on our own. Help us to do it now (in our youth) rather than later, when it may be too late.
St. Pope John Paul II, pray for us.
Mother of Fair Love, pray for us.
Amen.
References:
Marshall, T. (2011, February). Immaculate Mary and Personified Wisdom in the Old Testament. Retrieved from https://taylormarshall.com/2011/02/immaculate-mary-and-personified-wisdom.html
Saint Pope John Paul II. (1985). Apostolic Letter Dilecti Amici. Retrieved from http://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_letters/1985/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_31031985_dilecti-amici.html
About The Author
In her travels as a flight attendant, Veronica Krolikowski was able to visit numerous pilgrimage sites that helped deepen her faith and love for Catholicism. After some time, however, she discerned that God was calling her to a different path.
She moved home to her quiet town in Pennsylvania, earned her MBA from Bloomsburg University, worked as an adjunct professor, and founded a line of soul-fully designed apparel and accessories, called ArcAngel Apparel.
She now enjoys writing, pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors, and spending time with her family and kitten, Miracle. If she could describe her life in 3 words it would be: Faith, Fun, and Simplicity."