In part one of our series, we discussed what it means to be vulnerable and all of the ways it can add grace into our lives. If you haven't had a chance to read it yet, take a look at it here, then hop back over to join the discussion on being vulnerable and how it can impact our interaction with others. In part two, we discuss the most profound form of vulnerability; being open to others and letting our relationships experience the joys and sorrows that come from being available to love! 

In romantic relationships, couples experience two strong differing emotions that seem to be at the core of the dilemma of vulnerability: love and pain. While hardship may be part of the equation, vulnerability also stems from love, joy, and acceptance, all of which are essential parts of the human experience. Healthy, intimate relationships are what give our lives happiness, meaning, and purpose. In contrast, social isolation and closing our hearts puts us at risk for psychological and physical issues such as depression and disease. Love is a choice, and like all things in life, it requires courage.

Fear in Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is scary; it's taking the deepest parts of your heart and putting them into the hands of another. If we think of it, vulnerability is similar to the act of total surrender to God. When we go to Him in our most profound moments of despair, we lay everything down and say, "God, I can't do it, take it." What if we took that same mindset with the interactions we have with others? Especially with individuals that mean the most to us. Envision yourself walking up those people, arms filled with all of the heaviness we cling to, and say, I trust you enough to open my heart. And by sharing this with you, will you help me carry it? 

When Jesus asks us to lay our life down for each other as he did for us, He didn't do it with conditions or fears. He wants us to own what we hold and share that with others so that they can help unload it with us. There is no perfect person, and no one will leave this earth without some form of baggage to carry. God blesses us with those that say, hey, I want to unpack this with you. How fortunate to have someone to share the rawest parts of your heart with.

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor, for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up! Furthermore, if two lie down together, they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. "-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

True Vulnerability Wins

If we approach every situation with the idea that vulnerability wins and God is sovereign overall. We cannot lose. When you reveal your heart in a romantic relationship, and that feeling isn't immediately reciprocated, guess what? You've still won. The ability to walk forward and say that you chose to act with courage and expose the deepest part of yourself to someone will be rewarded. God favors those who take steps in his glory. 

Be mindful, be prayerful, and have discernment around the range of heart to reveal. If we approach each moment as if Jesus were present, He can take that fear and turn it into something even more significant. If the results aren't immediate, don't panic. There is more at play than you may ever know. By showing your heart, you allow others the chance to show theirs. That simple fact alone is enough to make me want to expose my heart over and over and over. Knowing that if I reveal the truth of my being, which is God, to the core, it will motivate others to work for peace and lean towards uncovering their inner light.

There are so many reasons not to expose your heart, but there are many more reasons behind the need to share it. 

+ What if I share my fears with this person, and they realize I am not as confident as I try to make myself out to be?

Be vulnerable anyways.

+ What if their opinion of me changes when they know the circumstances I'm struggling with?

Be vulnerable anyways.

+ What if I show my heart, and the feelings are not returned? Or even scarier, what if they ARE?

Be vulnerable anyways.

"Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open for wounding but also pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don't mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable." ― Stephen Russell

Without knowledge, there can be no love, only a superficial resemblance of it. How can you truly love someone if you don't know who they are, and how can you be loved if they don't know the depths of who you are? Vulnerability is the only way. 

Trust -> Vulnerability -> Accountability -> Deep Relationship - > Love 

If we want to exude lives of love, we need to first begin with trust, leading us to an open heart. Life is too short to be anything but your most authentic, vulnerable self. When you have the opportunity to go deeper, please say YES to it. If you find yourself in a situation that calls you to open your heart and pushes you into uncomfortability, lean into it. The moments that we are most afraid of are often the same opportunities that we need most to grow. When you trust in God and fall into His goodness, it opens you up to connecting with people in the same way. Become a person of understanding to make others comfortable being vulnerable around you. Only through the brokenness of exposure can we genuinely become whole. 

Choose Courage

I know what it feels like to be on both sides of vulnerability. I have been that person holding onto those feelings for fear that the possible outcome of pain will prevail. I have also been someone who has opened their heart and gave themselves to another person with it not being reciprocated. No matter the outcome, I will always choose the latter. A true authentic holy and spiritual life requires genuine authenticity and courage. The current problem in our world is how easy it is for people to fall into a lukewarm category because they aren't willing to put it all on the line, for themselves or the good of others. This mindset is a terrible way to live life; you are doing a disservice to yourself and everyone you interact with. If you think God expects us to do this alone, you couldn't be more wrong. God gave Adam the gift of Eve for a reason. No man can do alone what two can do together. 

The next time you feel yourself close up in fear in a romantic relationship or otherwise, notice if you can choose to be courageous. Take a risk and embrace vulnerability.

The third part of this series will dive deeper into vulnerability in faith. Until then, be open, be kind and remember; grace always, always wins ♥