As I have mentioned earlier, one of my biggest objections to joining the Honors Program was that I didn’t see enough value added to counteract the decrease in test scores and GPA that was sure to follow in these harder classes. I made this assumption because, after all, I was not in honors or advanced classes in high school. In my mind, if I couldn’t do it then, why would I be able to succeed in these classes now? I had already proven my intellectual ability to be incapable of handling the challenge.

My time in the Honors Program taught me one of the best things about myself that I would ever learn: I, Nathan Crankfield, was capable of change. Up to this point in my life, I had the hope that I would be able to change, but I was generally unsure. I practiced a faith that taught people could be transformed by their cooperation with God’s grace, but I had never come to fully accept and believe it to be applicable to my own life. I had been around many people who maintained the same horrible habits for years on end. I had seen all the pain and havoc I was able to cause in the lives of my parents, ex-girlfriends, and even some of my closest friends.

Being a first-hand witness to your own habitual sin will leave you feeling like you are eternally stuck the way that you are. The only way to avoid this feeling is to numb yourself to it by ignoring it, thus allowing it to fester and rot your soul from within. Embracing the reality of your sinful and weak nature is sobering indeed, but it allows you to plot yourself on the map. Once you have an understanding of your current state, the next step is imagining a better version of yourself. You must create a vision. The vision for a better tomorrow must be empowered by optimistic hope and it must ultimately be driven by action. You have to see and believe in your mind that God is capable of working wonders in your life, then be willing to move towards that bigger future as He leads the way.

The Honors Program was one of the first times in my life where I saw myself break the mold and do something most people thought was impossible. In high school, you often see people get downgraded from harder classes to easier ones. This happened to me personally. I started off in Honors Algebra my freshman year and by sophomore year was put in the general course for Geometry. I didn’t fail the class, but knew I could do better if I took the easier course the next year. Looking back on it, my reasoning for lowering the difficulty level was mainly about not wanting to put in the effort. It had nothing to do with my ability to do math, but everything to do with my willingness to put in the work.

The environment at the Mount encouraged me to maintain hope of a better future for myself. My biggest factor in choosing that school for myself was that the people there were not just genuinely happy, they were joyful. I wanted to experience that joy and I was very hopeful that I, myself, could one day have whatever it was that they had. Our chaplain at the time, Fr Brian Nolan, probably embodied this joy better than anyone else. He knew that people were capable of doing horrible things, but he also knew and taught us that people could change. Fr Brian taught us to have a growth mindset.

In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck does an in-depth analysis of both the fixed mindset and the growth mindset in the realms of parenting, school, business, and relationships. She explains the two in this way:

“The fixed mindset is believing that your qualities are carved in stone. It creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. . .The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way – in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments – everyone can change and grow through application and experience.” (emphasis added)

Having a growth, or fixed, mindset is not just a choice we make, but rather it is a result of the compilation of choices we make, and of the beliefs we accept and embrace for ourselves.  Often times, people will be growth minded in certain areas but fixed minded in others. Her book does an excellent job of giving detailed examples and insights into each, which allow you to reflect on your own life to see where you stand in different areas.

What I have learned in my own life is that having a fixed mindset simply sucks. Though it has been proven time and time again how ineffectual it is, people flock to a fixed mindset.  The fixed mind gives us a sense of entitlement and allows us to believe we are inherently better than others. Similarly, it gives us an excuse to be lazy and to not try things that intimidate us because it’s just “not who we are.” In the fixed mindset, we are constantly affirming who we are, never seeing an area or opportunity for change. It allows people to hide behind different personality types, failures, and insecurities so as to never put forward the effort needed to conquer anything new.

Now, this shift in thinking does not lead to a belief in endless possibilities. It doesn’t mean that you can go out tomorrow and do anything and everything. It simply means that you’re capable of doing better. You are able to improve in nearly all things. You can do this in things large and small. Brainstorm the ways that you want to improve your life. What is it that you are truly fixed around? What are some ways you need to change in order to be excellent in the five major areas of your life (Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual and Financial)?

Here is a list of things you can do. You can lower your run time. You can improve your prayer life and knowledge of Scripture. You can read more books and you can improve your reading comprehension. You can improve your relationship with your significant other. You can grow in patience and forgiveness. You can become a better public speaker, writer, and test taker. You can overcome your fears. You can be more positive and encouraging. You can decrease your impulsive spending. You can increase your net worth. You can become a better evangelist.

I hope this inspires you to break through some mental and social barriers you may have in your life. Perhaps you need to go back through that list and change every “you” to “I” and read it out loud. I strongly recommend writing three things down that you can change about yourself this year.

 I can. . .(fill in the blank).

Life is all about progress

One of the primary catalysts behind people quitting on themselves, and their varied commitments to grow and change, is that they are too short-sighted. The path to excellence is long and arduous. There really are no shortcuts. In one of my favorite parts of Mindset, Dr. Dweck addresses the concern of someone feeling the temporary despair brought forth by a setback on their journey toward greatness. The person asks, “When something goes wrong or when something promising seems to be slipping away, I still have a passing feeling of powerlessness. Does that mean I haven’t changed?” To which Dr. Dweck replies,

“No, it means that change isn’t like surgery. Even when you change, the old beliefs [and habits] aren’t just removed like a worn-out hip or knee and replaced with better ones. Instead, the new beliefs take their place alongside the old ones, and as they become stronger, they give you a different way to think, feel, and act.”

We all know that people tend to have a microwave mentality when it comes to upgrades in life. We want things to be done as quickly as possible – and why shouldn’t we? Our incredibly busy schedules don’t afford us a surplus of time. We are limited beings, forcing us to be efficient; however, our preference for a quick fix doesn’t change the natural laws of this world. Science may have created a way for someone to lose 100lbs in an hour-long surgery, but they can’t give you a healthy lifestyle of good nutrition and exercise in that same time frame. You can spend the bare minimum of time at church on Sunday, but there’s no shortcut to a strong prayer life. Excellence demands your time and attention. To reach your full potential, you have to be willing to play the long game, and to have a healthy dissatisfaction with your current state that constantly propels you forward.

That being said, patience is not enough. It also requires a ton of hard work. 

This reflection is a part of Seeking Excellence's EXODUS 90 series, which took place in the months leading up to Easter.