In part one of our three-part series on vulnerability, we covered what exposure looks like in day-to-day life. In part two we discussed how openness is needed to create a lasting connection, especially within romantic relationships. In the final article of this series, we explore what vulnerability looks like through the eyes of Christ.

Love like Jesus

Learning to love as Jesus loves requires incredible courage. He demonstrated vulnerability at its maximum through His improbable broken heart in the Garden of Gethsemane, his weakened body on the journey to Calvary, and his cruel death on the Cross. Was this supreme act of love weak? On the contrary, it was the bravest demonstration of love that the world has ever known. And we, though broken and bruised by shattered relationships and tired souls, must continue to say yes to the journey onward towards vulnerability. Remembering that when we grow with those closest to us, it brings peace to our hearts, and the most authentic example of vulnerability comes through.

Let us ask ourselves if we are willing to take the risk of being disregarded, rejected, and ridiculed – all for the sake of loving another. Suppose love is worth the risk, as it invariably always is. In that case, we must choose to become vulnerable and allow Jesus to break open our hearts, reveal our wounds, exposing them to the possibility of heartbreak, non-acceptance, and pain but also the chance of embracing and transformation.

It is necessary to let go of who you think you should be or who you think your partner wants you to be in a relationship to make room for who you are.

"Sometimes loving another person results in tragic disconnection or disengagement. Sometimes it means the person confronts themselves so that healing can only happen when they are ready to face the deep-rooted wounds of their past. And many – most – people are not prepared for that kind of transformative love. So when they encounter you, or you encounter them, and they see a reflection of the wounded Christ in the way you love them, they might run away. They might fight against such a gift because it is so powerful and satisfies the longing of every human heart." -Jeannie Ewing

Prayer is essential in the quest to obtain true humility and the place where we can best practice our weakness and vulnerability. We must pray as Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. Pray as your life depended on it. Pray out of love. Then respond in humility, in our words of weakness: "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed." These moments, in essence, are our journeys to Calvary. This moment is when we die to ourselves, admitting our unworthiness, and make room for not only God's will, but God himself who enters into us and becomes one with us. When a husband and wife give themselves to each other, it requires that they be vulnerable, trusting in the other, and laying down their entire selves.

True Vulnerability is Humility

The most authentic key to honoring our vulnerability is humility. Those who cannot come to terms with the truth about their innermost feelings—and the truth is the essence of humility—will not be comfortable with vulnerability. To become a disciple of Christ, we must be our most vulnerable selves. Humility, authenticity, and vulnerability lead us to grace. These are the keys to love, the Christian way of life, and personal holiness. It is not easy, but it's not supposed to be, as we've explored here. Love sometimes hurts. But it also heals, transforms, and changes us. The saints who have followed this way of humility, weakness, and vulnerability inspire us for that reason.

Pray with Psalm 139:1-18 to open your heart to God.

"You have searched for me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there, your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light will become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in a secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you."

Having emotional needs doesn't make you needy; it makes you authentically human. Instead of pretending that you don't have feelings, embrace what those needs are to find a way to reveal them with others in ways that connect you to them. Vulnerability is the birthplace of intimacy, and without intimacy, we cannot truly deepen our relationship with God or others.